Amusing Things I Said When I Was Two

As recorded by my mom. Thank you, Mom.

When I was two, my mom sent anecdotes about me to a newspaper titled World Journal, for publication in a section titled “Childhood Words.”

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2/28/1986 (Maryland)

—Mom was joking with 2.5-year-old Tao, saying, "Tao Tao, mommy has no money, so poor, what should I do?" Tao answered with a serious facial expression, "It's okay, mommy, Tao Tao go buy money for mommy."

—Mom was busy putting groceries into the refrigerator while Tao wanted Mom to hold him. Mom said, "Wait until I put all the groceries into the refrigerator; otherwise the groceries will go bad." Tao said, "If the groceries go bad, just have Dad fix it."

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3/10/1986 (Maryland)

—2.5-year-old Tao liked to jump and run around. One day when Tao was happily running around, Mom heard Tao yelling ouch.* Tao said, "Mommy, I want to hit the table; it has no mouth to cry, so it doesn't matter."

*I’d bumped into a table.

—Dad went to Florida to work for his new job. Mom asked Tao if he missed* Dad, Tao said, "No, I don't know how to think." Mom told Tao to use his head to think. Tao said, "My head has no mouth, how does it think?"

*In Chinese, “missed” can be stated as “thought of.” Here, my mom asked me if I thought of—missed—my dad.

8/2/1986 (Central Florida)

—Tao's 3rd birthday was coming up. Mom asked him what he was going to do at his birthday. Tao said he was going to buy an airplane for Alex.* While mom was feeling happy that Tao knew how to love his brother at this young age, Tao said, "So Alex won't play with my toys anymore."

*My six-years-older brother.

—We had two small birds at home. One day Dad pointed to one of the birds and said, "That one with a red face is a boy." Tao said, "Dad is also a boy; how come your face is not red?"

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